2016 is many awesome things such as a year of ACTION and WITNESSING. But I’d like to formally introduce one collaboration that continues to blow my mind even as I write this post. Quick back story first! As some of you may know, I’ve been on Periscope discussing different things, including my story and having chat sessions with author Sonia Huh of The Reminder, Quiet Power Peaceful Confidence. The feedback has been tremendous to say the least. Now, (after waiting on me to get it together) we have decided to collaborate and create the Breakout! Series which will be broadcasted on my Periscope channel. We will discuss various topics such as dealing with let downs, disappointing setbacks, spiritual foundation and overcoming hardship.
All I know is, things happen when people collaborate so you don’t to miss these sessions!
Let’s face it, the same thing over and over again, year in and year out. The same struggles, the same hurdles and obstacles.
The same questions!
You’ve reached a point where you’re facing a corner and you’re not sure which way to turn. Life has done a number on you once again, but this time you’re fed up and you want to do something about it, but you just don’t know what that something is. Continue reading “I’m Tired and I Know You Are Too!”
If you are looking to make moves in your business, career or personal life, you have to conquer certain strongholds in order to succeed in these areas. There are steps you can take in the right direction towards conquering shyness. Here’s how writing can help you take those steps:
Uncloud your thoughts
A lot of the times it’s hard to communicate with people because your thoughts are all over the place. When was the last time you did a brain dump? When was the last time to released old, stale thoughts? Writing can serve as an excellent tool to release thoughts that may have been tormenting you for a while. Once your thoughts are cleared and organized, your communication improves greatly. You’ll be able to interact with others clearly and they will understand what you have to say. This helps replace shyness with confidence.
Jot it down before the meeting
If you’re having that dreaded meeting with your boss, have to give a presentation or getting ready to have that much needed conversation with someone that has offended you, it’s critical that you’re prepared to say what you have to say. Make a list of points you want to discuss and even bring it with you to help you stay on track. You won’t look foolish doing this. Instead, you’ll look like you mean business and will be taken seriously. Making this list will help you organize your thoughts and your emotions. It will also empower you to speak up for yourself. This will leave even less room for shyness to be comfortable inside you.
Be real with yourself
When no one is looking, when you’re having that private moment within yourself, choose to take the brave step and be HONEST. Be honest with yourself and honest about your feelings. Write down how that situation made you feel, the role you played and what you’re going to do about it. Remember this is a step, not necessarily a commitment. By taking this step, you’ll see a difference in your relationships with people and how you see yourself. Shyness will play a smaller role as time goes on and you use writing as an outlet.
Using writing as an outlet is a very powerful way of releasing and dealing with situations that may be troubling you. It’s been done over and over again as some of the most successful stories told originated out of someone who was ready to release through writing. If you’re interested in releasing and being able to be understood by people more, stay tuned…there’s a great tool coming for you from New3Creation! Make sure you subscribe to our newsletter to stay updated!
It’s not to late to wish everyone a Happy New Year! I must say that 2014 flew by like dust. It’s going to be an entire year since I started this blogging journey and it has been nothing but rewarding. Thanks for your continued interest and support; I hope you’re inspired to do your heart’s desire as you read New3Creation material!
I want to start of with this thought provoking quote from Cheryl Strayed:
“I knew that if I allowed fear to overtake me, my journey was doomed. Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me.”
~ Cheryl Strayed, Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail
This is an awesome quote on dealing with fear in a unique way. I’ve previously tackled the topic of fear here on this site and it cannot be stressed enough how important it is to tackle fear from a different angle. We can’t allow it to cripple us and determine our destiny. It doesn’t matter if you want to become a writer, astronaut or business owner – if you’re reading this be inspired by the fact that fear is nothing but an emotion and it NEVER lasts! It also doesn’t matter what type of situation you’re in; fear is not in control. You are…simple as that.
A new beginning
Think about the quote for a minute…what story have you told yourself? As we become older, we realize that a lot of things we thought were true as children aren’t so; ranging from Santa Claus to what a healthy marriage or relationship really means. The fact is that truth never stops revealing itself. It’s a constant organism that’s always at work. I once heard the saying that God reveals to redeem – nothing could be further from that truth. That’s why it’s okay to start over and not be afraid to make a new beginning. It’s easier said than done but you can get rid of all those old things that weighed you down before. You can decide what you will be concerned about from here on out – especially since its a new year. I always talk about creating yourself if you’re not happy with who you are. Not saying to create a facade, but build a new beginning for yourself and use that fear as a motivator. Trust me, when it comes to rebuilding and recalculating your journey, you need to make fear your friend!
When I decided to get back into writing, fear definitely showed up at the front door. I figured since I hadn’t been involved in writing since college, my chances of becoming a flop were very likely. Rejections and setback probably lay ahead and I wasn’t looking forward to any of that. But I had to do something. I had to make a decision. I must tell you that decision has (and continues to) paid off. So many doors have been opened to help me along the way and help create a beautiful future. You can certainly do the same.
Change the script
So what if your story isn’t a great one? Re-create your story to be what you want it to be. Tell yourself a different story and take charge of your destiny. Don’t let fear or naysayers determine it. The road is…different. It doesn’t consist of partying around and a bunch of friends saying great things about you. Writing your new script can be challenging because the atmosphere is quiet and you’re often alone, facing yourself and dealing with who you really are. It’s also filled with eye opening moments of joy that can’t be compared to anything else; installing wisdom in you to last a lifetime. You’ll also be surprised how much your choices and your story inspires others to take a leap of faith! That’s what New3Creation is about, to inspire, envision and be able!
I’ll press the pause button here until next time. But I will leave you with this question: It’s 2015 – what are you going to do about it? Will you let it determine your destiny or will you make a decision to change your story?
I recently heard a quote by actress Sandra Bullock that pertained to surrounding yourself with people who are ahead of you in life. This is for every area of life because the things that influence you can affect your career, family life, etc. Here are some reasons why this saying is true and necessary.
You save yourself a lot of pain
People who have been places before you know the deal. Yes, it’s a fact that we humans have a curious nature, and like to learn things the hard way. But when we do learn we usually realize that those advising us were right? If they are open to passing that wisdom onto you, don’t reject it. In fact, embrace it with both arms. Listen to them every now and then. Why go through unnecessary pain and disappointment due to ignorance. If you’re already aware of certain things, you’ll make better decisions thanks to words of wisdom from those that have been down that road already.
You’ll be ahead of the game
Taking heed to real words of wisdom will take you very far. For example if someone in your circle is good with money and advises you at a young age, you’ll develop great financial habits by the time you reach adulthood and won’t have to deal with being down and out with debt and bad money decisions. You’ll even be ahead than most people in your age group. That’s pretty awesome.
You’ll be better prepared for life’s curve balls
When (not if) adversity hits, nothing is more important to keep you afloat than strong social support. Your inner circle should consist of sensible mature people that want to see you get ahead. Not only is there less drama in your life, but you’ll also be surrounded by level-headed people who will provide healthy support during tough times.When you get out of a traumatic situation, you’re in the process of building yourself up again so the words you hear can make or break your world. Being surrounded by naysayers usually means you’re surrounded by those who are fearful, insecure and envious. Don’t set yourself up for regression; surround yourself with those who want the best for you and will be honest with you whether you like it or not.
Your confidence will build
This is especially true if you listen to the advice of older people. Think about it; friends your age tend to say the craziest things – things that either get us in trouble or get us nowhere. Well this is likely to happen if they only know as much as you do. The company you keep will help build you up, particularly in the area of confidence. They’re not around you to tear you down, they want to make sure you progress and make wise decisions.
You don’t have to worry about your friends being threatened by you
To piggy-back off the previous reason, mature people who are well established in life have nothing to lose. They don’t mind seeing you move forward – that’s exactly what they want to see! They’re not threatened by your brightness, you drive or your knowledge. In fact, they celebrate those things about you and will root you on during hard times and when you’re on a quest to achieve something in life.
On a personal note….
I’m not just writing this to meet a post quota for the week; I live by this information. I’ve learned over and over the importance of healthy social support. If you’re surrounded by people who are already established and understand your plight, you’ll go very far. They’re not around you to belittle you or your dreams. They want the best for you. This is true in many ways for me, even when I started my freelance writing business. If you have a vision or plan, healthy friendships are key!
What’s your experience with good or bad social support? Do you surround yourself with people who’ve been there and done that?
For my participation in DC Ladies’ Blogtober Event, I’m sharing some things I’m thankful for. Besides, it’s good to sit down and reflect on certain things that have happened to you and why. There’s nothing like eye opening insight, folks!
Another year of living beyond mere existence.
Loved ones – not because they’re family, but because they actually care about me. The love is not out of family obligation. Hallelujah for that type of love.
Improved ability to express myself
Crappy co-workers – they really teach you how to build character.
New friends – networking rocks!
“Mah boo” – thanks for being so understanding!
Twitter – it must be a cold day in hell…that’s all I can say.
Today’s food for thought comes from another African proverb:
“He who is destined for power does not have to fight for it”
This simple saying speaks volumes. I hope it speaks something to you and your life as you read this post. Life can definitely serve some curve balls; and for some, it just started out on a bad foot. But it doesn’t have to continue that way. This saying reminds me of the story of King David. Before he was crowned King of Israel, he knew he would hold the title, but circumstances at the time were the complete opposite. King Saul, his predecessor was in complete denial about losing his position and gave David hell about succeeding him. It got to the point where David had to seek refuge in the fields and hide for a while because Saul was after his life. It was one incident after another – enough to discourage anyone from pursuing what was theirs. But David never relented. In fact, he didn’t really make a big fuss about it because he knew the position was his, so there was no reason to put up a fight with Saul for it. When the time came, he was appointed to his new office and was able to claim his title as king.
Simple, but not so simple.
A certain fixation of the heart and mindset has to be in place in order to have this type of approach to adversary. I personally feel we are all destined for power, but life, family history and other circumstances have clouded that vision and realization. There are certain things in my life that I’m looking forward to. They’re not happening at the moment, but I know for a fact that they will. Why? Because I have to ability to see it that way because I’ve ingrained it in my mind. Of course, reaching this point didn’t happen overnight, and there’s still work to be done in building up my mind and faith. Every little positive thought and prayer makes a difference. For instance, I decided a few months ago to use my writing as a platform of expression and excellent income. It’s going to get to the point where I will watch the income roll in without lifting a finger at times. Am I there at the moment? Nope, but I know that my business will get to that point. I have a plan. I have a strategy and I have the will power to push because I know what I want. But at the same time I don’t go around throwing it in people’s faces to prove a point. I just know it will happen and I will be in a place of comfort and establishment.
And what exactly is power? Let’s visit that for a second because power tends to be associated with the wrong concepts like position and being able to control people. I’m not talking in that perspective at all. I’m talking about real power.
Power is stillness. Power is that quiet strength one has to control themselves, not others. Because of that type of control, they have a positive influence on others and are able to make serious moves. If one can inspire others in a positive way, I consider that power. Not because of the effect they have on people, but because of the quality they carry within themselves.
I’m going to end this with another quote in conjunction to today’s food for thought. Are you in a rut or at an all-time low? Is your business not where you want it to be? Read this quote, say it to yourself, then take a step further and look into the mirror and say it out loud to yourself:
“At any given moment, you have the power to say, ‘this is not how my story will end’ “.
I really do. My friend and I recently embarked on a new eating adventure in an attempt to eat healthier and drop some pounds. We came up with a list of foods to stay away from and read up on foods that would provide healthier options for us. We’re setting goals and making changes one step at a time. In those changes, we’re struggling to let go of pleasurable foods – especially those that satisfy our sweet tooth! But because we set a goal, certain things MUST be sacrificed.
During this “cleansing” journey, we’ve both already made some pitfalls along the way. I have a tendency to really beat myself up when I fall short or don’t stick to what I had planned, not so much with my friend. They simply said we can keep going and just modify more as we go along – no stress because of setbacks. I thought to myself, hmmm…they have a point!
So there are a couple of things I’m taking from this experience. One, if you want something to improve, there are some steps you’ll have to take that won’t be the most fun. This is where self-discipline kicks in. As I mentioned earlier, I hate apples, but I will eat them because they are good for me and I want to be in a healthier state physically. Will I eat them on the regular? Heck no, but I will do my best to incorporate them in my eating habits by substituting them in place of sweets that are not so good for me. I know what I want and will do what needs to be done to get it.
The other point I would like to make is allowing oneself to operate in their human nature. It’s okay to mess up. Mistakes and bad choices will be made, but that doesn’t mean the journey has to stop.
A quick quote:
“If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.” – Mary Pickford
On the job experience
I recently had a rough day on the new job. It seemed like everything I was doing was wrong and kept getting kicked back. It made me feel awful, but it didn’t stop me from asking for help and finding out what I needed to do to improve my work. Once I approached the boss about it, they didn’t hesitate to offer me insight and guidance. They were once in my shoes and made the same mistakes I did and told me I shouldn’t feel bad, just learn from them. Now I have the tools to help me prepare my work with better quality so that it doesn’t get kicked back. I also learned to dig deeper within myself to be more keen and attentive to what I’m doing.
So from apples to heart to heart conversations with bosses, it all boils down to self-discipline and perseverance. Don’t burn yourself out trying to outdo yourself or others, and keep going despite the setbacks you may have. These life lessons are definitely being applied to my writing journey as well. While some doors have opened for me, I’m still not where I would like to be as far as platform and exposure goes. Does this make me want to throw in the towel? Not really, but some days are definitely more encouraging than others. Nonetheless, I decide to keep moving forward.
With that being said, I hope you too decide to let your mistakes teach you instead of bring you down. As a writer, fashion blogger, chef or whatever it is you decide to do, learn from your human nature and make the most of it.
Have you practiced self accountability? If not, what’s the hold up?
I recently attended a Diversity Day event in the area. It was pretty entertaining as they had food, dance and all kinds of presentations going on. There were people representing different parts of the world and my attention was drawn to the Indian booth that served teas and gave complimentary tattoos. I decided to get one out of curiosity. Mind you, I’m no stranger to diversity; growing up in an African household exposed me to a lot of different cultures. But I must say my Christian upbringing shielded me from a lot. Now that I’m my own person, I’m not as skeptical to try out new things and learn more about different beliefs and perspectives.
My attention was captured by the smell of Chai Tea and a long line of curious looking women. Most of them walked away with flower, glittery tattoos. Some of them were getting the design on their arms while others got them on their ankles. They were nice, but I didn’t want what everyone else was getting, so by the time I reached the front of the line I decided to get something that would represent what I was going through; change, a new start. The lady doing the designs said she would put a “Hamsa” symbol on me to represent what I was looking for. She told me it would protect me from negative vibes of hatred and jealousy as I embarked on my new start.
Hamsa is a symbol widely used in the eastern part of the world by different religions to include Hinduism, Buddhism, and Judaism. Each religion has its own affectionate translation for it, but generally speaking, it’s a symbol of protection against evil forces. The lady told me that I would be protected in my new start and that negative energy wouldn’t affect it. Yay!
So how does this tie into writing?
The connections this experience has to my development as a writer are endless. Not only can it open the mind to new ideas and concepts it can also be used as a motivator to take fresh approaches. For instance, I recently sat down and reevaluated my freelance pan and the priorities involved. It was especially useful because of the adjustment period I’m going through at the moment. Other things are going on for me that have caused things to slow down a bit with writing. I believe in the impact of positive energy and want to embrace it in my growth as a writer.
Want to learn more about henna tattoos? Go here!
As always let me know your thoughts and experiences in the comment section below!