Daily Post – I Would Never do That to You….


It’s been a while since I’ve done a Daily Post. I came across it today and couldn’t resist! So if I had to come up with one question that would determine whether or not I would let someone be my friend, what would it be?

After going through some of life’s hard knocks, one learns a lot at some point and they also are fed up and put up boundaries. Not out of spite, but because they know their worth. The question I would pose is this:

Would you take advantage of one’s weaknesses and vulnerabilities, or would you pounce on it to make you feel better about yourself?

I’m not sure how old the readers of this post are, but at some point in life you reach a place where enough is enough and you have to draw the line. It’s like second nature for most people to take advantage of someone when they don’t know any better or don’t have certain strengths. They jump on the opportunity to make someone feel even worse about a vulnerability they have just to make themselves feel better. It’s like those fights your classmates used to have on the playground where one person got beat up. When that happened they would run home and get their “reinforcers” to come and take care of the situation. Don’t treat people in such a crappy way because when they come to realization about themselves, they come back with reinforcement and you will NEVER treat them that way again!

This is not just in friendships, it’s every where in life, including the type of job you decide to take and what writing assignments you decide to accept (yes, I had to make a writing reference – I’m a freelance writer for crying out loud!).

So if you’re finding yourself saying “no” more or having an answer for someone who comes at you the wrong way, there’s nothing bitchy about it. You’re growing and you’re learning your self-worth.

And most of all – ask questions! Ain’t nothing wrong with that!

Tell Folks about it!

It’s Harvest Time


And just like that, summer’s gone and the cold months are about to set in (this entire year has flown by like nothing). In order to get ready for the winter, now is the time to reap the crops that have matured the past few months. There will be no worries in the cold months because there’s a serious stash of food – all because the past few months were used to cultivate and grow food.

Besides the fact that time flies, it’s important to cultivate properly and bring in a good harvest. Are you looking for something to happen in a specific area of your life, such as a career move or starting a special relationship with someone? What steps have you taken to make it happen? A lot of times, we do more expecting than working. The season comes and goes without any fruit to pick, and we end up frustrated. You can break that cycle immediately and get to work. As I mentioned before, there were a lot of moves I had to make to get my promotion. It wasn’t easy by any means, but I knew what I wanted and it just had to be done. It can be difficult to get out of the area of wanting and to step over into the realm of WORK. It’s difficult to tend that soil in the beginning, but in the end it all pays off.


This is a constant battle many of us fight. The war within, the fight against oneself to do or be better. It’s never an easy task but it has to be done. I rage in this war all the time; whether it’s staying fit, blogging (!), being productive on the job or keeping myself in a good head space. I’m always reminded of where I’m aiming to go and the plan I have to get there. So here’s the thing: what do you actually want? That’s the first thing that needs to be established. From that point, you’ll know how to pace yourself. Self-discipline is no walk in the park, but there are days when you’re simply not feeling it, and that’s fine. Everyone is allowed a down day every now and then. In fact, they’re necessary to remind you of the goal you’re working towards because eventually you’ll have to pick up working where you left off. Are you the planning type? Be sure to invest a certain amount of time towards this goal each and every day – no matter how long or short that time may be! If there was a shorter, easier way around it, I would share it but there simply isn’t. There has to be focus and dedication involved.

Reap the Harvest!

I’ve read countless stories on writers and bloggers who put in years of hard work and are now enjoying the fruits of their labor. It’s the sweetest thing to sit back and watch things work for you after so much hard work has been put in. But the journey to get there is never easy. There’s a lot of lessons to learn, and a few heartbreaks may even be involved, but at the end, it will all be worth it.

Tell Folks about it!

Food for Thought Thursday


It’s that time of the week again, folks! The past couple of months have been kind of crazy, so it’s been tough to post at least two blogs a week. I’ll get there – thank you for stopping by regardless!

Today’s food for thought comes from The Congo:

” The art of negotiating is acquired from childhood.”

This one really tugged at my brain when I came across it. The first thing that jumped out at me is how the most important habits are established in the earliest stages. Not just in life but in every endeavor we take on, whether it’s in learning how to play the piano, become a basketball player or be a dancer. Of course I’m going to apply this to writing! While some good things are learned along the way, in the beginning of a writing journey, it’s important to have your mind made up. For example, I made a plan to post at least twice a week when I first started blogging, and I’m learning how to manage my time and use organization tools to achieve this (when I’m not being pulled in 10 other directions, of course!). But the one thing I definitely had in the beginning was the mind set to do it no matter what. That stubbornness was developed early in my writing journey; to keep writing no matter what. Even when I’m not blogging, I’m doing some type of writing activity because of other projects I’m working on.

This may not have much to do with the art of negotiating, but that was what I took from today’s quote. Being able to make things happen is not something that’s learned overnight. It develops over the years until you’ve become a master at it.

What’s you’re interpretation of this quote? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Tell Folks about it!

Food for Thought Thursday

Is your power turned on? Source: Frederic Bisson, Flickr
Is your power turned on?
Source: Frederic Bisson, Flickr

Today’s food for thought comes from another African proverb:

“He who is destined for power does not have to fight for it”

This simple saying speaks volumes. I hope it speaks something to you and your life as you read this post. Life can definitely serve some curve balls; and for some, it just started out on a bad foot. But it doesn’t have to continue that way. This saying reminds me of the story of King David. Before he was crowned King of Israel, he knew he would hold the title, but circumstances at the time were the complete opposite. King Saul, his predecessor was in complete denial about losing his position and gave David hell about succeeding him. It got to the point where David had to seek refuge in the fields and hide for a while because Saul was after his life. It was one incident after another – enough to discourage anyone from pursuing what was theirs. But David never relented. In fact, he didn’t really make a big fuss about it because he knew the position was his, so there was no reason to put up a fight with Saul for it. When the time came, he was appointed to his new office and was able to claim his title as king.

Simple, but not so simple.

Build your strength. Don't waste time trying to prove yourself to everyone. Source: Greg Westfall, Flickr
Build your strength. Don’t waste time trying to prove yourself to everyone.
Source: Greg Westfall, Flickr

A certain fixation of the heart and mindset has to be in place in order to have this type of approach to adversary. I personally feel we are all destined for power, but life, family history and other circumstances have clouded that vision and realization. There are certain things in my life that I’m looking forward to. They’re not happening at the moment, but I know for a fact that they will. Why? Because I have to ability to see it that way because I’ve ingrained it in my mind. Of course, reaching this point didn’t happen overnight, and there’s still work to be done in building up my mind and faith. Every little positive thought and prayer makes a difference. For instance, I decided a few months ago to use my writing as a platform of expression and excellent income. It’s going to get to the point where I will watch the income roll in without lifting a finger at times. Am I there at the moment? Nope, but I know that my business will get to that point. I have a plan. I have a strategy and I have the will power to push because I know what I want. But at the same time I don’t go around throwing it in people’s faces to prove a point. I just know it will happen and I will be in a place of comfort and establishment.

And what exactly is power? Let’s visit that for a second because power tends to be associated with the wrong concepts like position and being able to control people. I’m not talking in that perspective at all. I’m talking about real power.

Power is stillness. Power is that quiet strength one has to control themselves, not others. Because of that type of control, they have a positive influence on others and are able to make serious moves. If one can inspire others in a positive way, I consider that power. Not because of the effect they have on people, but because of the quality they carry within themselves.

I’m going to end this with another quote in conjunction to today’s food for thought. Are you in a rut or at an all-time low? Is your business not where you want it to be? Read this quote, say it to yourself, then take a step further and look into the mirror and say it out loud to yourself:

“At any given moment, you have the power to say, ‘this is not how my story will end’ “.

Watch things change.

Tell Folks about it!

I Hate Apples

Source: Samantha Forsberg, Flickr
Source: Samantha Forsberg, Flickr

I really do. My friend and I recently embarked on a new eating adventure in an attempt to eat healthier and drop some pounds. We came up with a list of foods to stay away from and read up on foods that would provide healthier options for us. We’re setting goals and making changes one step at a time. In those changes, we’re struggling to let go of pleasurable foods – especially those that satisfy our sweet tooth! But because we set a goal, certain things MUST be sacrificed.

During this “cleansing” journey, we’ve both already made some pitfalls along the way. I have a tendency to really beat myself up when I fall short or don’t stick to what I had planned, not so much with my friend. They simply said we can keep going and just modify more as we go along – no stress because of setbacks. I thought to myself, hmmm…they have a point!

So there are a couple of things I’m taking from this experience. One, if you want something to improve, there are some steps you’ll have to take that won’t be the most fun. This is where self-discipline kicks in. As I mentioned earlier, I hate apples, but I will eat them because they are good for me and I want to be in a healthier state physically. Will I eat them on the regular? Heck no, but I will do my best to incorporate them in my eating habits by substituting them in place of sweets that are not so good for me. I know what I want and will do what needs to be done to get it.

The other point I would like to make is allowing oneself to operate in their human nature. It’s okay to mess up. Mistakes and bad choices will be made, but that doesn’t mean the journey has to stop.

A quick quote:

“If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.” – Mary Pickford

On the job experience

I recently had a rough day on the new job. It seemed like everything I was doing was wrong and kept getting kicked back. It made me feel awful, but it didn’t stop me from asking for help and finding out what I needed to do to improve my work. Once I approached the boss about it, they didn’t hesitate to offer me insight and guidance. They were once in my shoes and made the same mistakes I did and told me I shouldn’t feel bad, just learn from them.  Now I have the tools to help me prepare my work with better quality so that it doesn’t get kicked back. I also learned to dig deeper within myself to be more keen and attentive to what I’m doing.

So from apples to heart to heart conversations with bosses, it all boils down to self-discipline and perseverance. Don’t burn yourself out trying to outdo yourself or others, and keep going despite the setbacks you may have. These life lessons are definitely being applied to my writing journey as well. While some doors have opened for me, I’m still not where I would like to be as far as platform and exposure goes. Does this make me want to throw in the towel? Not really, but some days are definitely more encouraging than others. Nonetheless, I decide to keep moving forward.

With that being said, I hope you too decide to let your mistakes teach you instead of bring you down. As a writer, fashion blogger, chef or whatever it is you decide to do, learn from your human nature and make the most of it.

Have you practiced self accountability? If not, what’s the hold up?

Tell Folks about it!

Whew! Another Week of a New Chapter


I probably should’ve named this post: To Whom Much is Given Much is Expected….oh well.

The past few weeks have been extremely busy for me in a good way. As some of you know, I recently started a new job and it’s been great. There’s the orientation, adjusting, adapting and of course learning. A lot of information is thrown at you and you must catch it and keep up (I think I’ve done fairly well in that area, thank you 🙂 ).

A New Sense of Purpose

A significant part of the reason why the transition has been successful is because there’s been a new need or fresh sense of purpose. I’ve had to redefine my career in a good way and it has caused me to exercise mental muscles I haven’t used in a long time. It’s important to sit and redefine things every now and then. It helps refocus on the goal at hand. Because I’m in a new position I was kind of forced to sit down and redefine the direction of my goals and career.

Letting Go of the Old

The mindset and attitude definitely have to be looked at during this process. It’s so easy to carry concepts from an old situation and carry it into a new one. Most of the time, this can be a hindrance. The past couple of weeks have been a complete culture shock for me; as I learn my new duties and expectations, I compare them to what I did before. In the past, there was continous strain and dealing with way more than I was supposed to deal with. It’s the complete opposite with the new setting and it’s taking me a minute to get used to that. I’ve been told  three times already “no, you don’t have to that here” or “no, you won’t have to worry about that – it will be done for you”. Wow! I’m really working on reprogramming my mind so that I won’t over exert myself for no reason; I had gotten so used to doing other jobs and duties outside of my own that I’d come to see it as normal. It wasn’t. Now I had to refocus on my actual position and zone in on that vs. mastering other positions. I have to admit, it’s been a challenge for me, but I know I’ll be fine.

Strap on those Boots and Get to Work

Not just in a physical sense, but mentally to have the right frame of mind to be productive. When something you’ve been wanting finally happens for you, it’s vital that you’re prepared to handle it properly. If it’s something along the lines of a promotion, be prepared to have more demanded of you and be sure to deliver. If the opportunity comes for you to be in charge while the boss is away, be sure to put your best foot forward. Don’t just gloat in the the so-called limelight of being in charge for a day (that’s just ridiculous) put forth effort in every task. I was recently placed in this position and had to sweat in order to meet certain demands on time. It wasn’t perfect, but the effort was definitely noticed and acknowledged.

Tell Folks about it!

Book Review – A Life Apart by L.Y. Marlow



Whether or not it’s hard to admit, it’s always a good feeling to read a warm love story. L.Y. Marlow strives to provide a story of love, life and pain her latest fiction, A Life Apart. The story begins its focus on Morris, a new dad and sailor for the Navy. While serving his country he becomes a part of U.S. History as being one of the sailors attacked on Pearl Harbor. Then there’s Beatrice; a young African-American woman who is attending college in Boston, Massachusetts. She’s a woman of the south, hailing from Mississippi and learns to adjust quickly in her new surroundings.

These two individuals are worlds apart, but become connected in the most uncommon way by a link of friendship and brotherhood – Beatrice’s brother Robert. The attack on Pearl Harbor destroys and brings together many things at the same time – especially for Beatrice and Morris. An uncanny love develops between them over time despite trying to fight the attraction they have for one another, an attraction that could also be dangerous for them and their families, considering Beatrice is black and Morris is white. For a time when racism was probably at an all-time high in America, Beatrice and Morris face the most difficult obstacles in trying to build and avoid their love over the years.

The story goes deeper when the unspeakable happens for both Beatrice and Morris, the world they built as individuals is shaken by life’s turmoil and surprises. Greif, shock and pain fill both of their lives as the love between them stays rooted. Beatrice makes some of the hardest decisions of sacrifice and humility because of her love for Morris and it all turns into a twisting shock for the reader.

A Life Apart is filled with historical occurrences and the rollercoaster of emotions that comes with complicated relationships. It also displays the unexplainable power of sacrifice and forgiveness. Despite laws of segregation, marriage and societal barriers, love miraculously abounds.

What others around the web are saying:

A Life Apart is a poignant and touching tribute to historical events that forged the United States we know today.” – Sabrina Williams of Breenibooks

“…Marlow deftly tugs the heartstrings throughout.” Kirkus Reviews

Have you read any good books lately?

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It’s the 2014 Book Festival!

poster_enlarge - Copy


I attended the 2014 Annual Book Festival in Washington DC this weekend. It was a great experience of course. I attended years ago, so this was the first time in a while I attended such an event since I decided to get into writing. The event was rich resources, from teaching material to author meet and greets.

The Book Festival is hosted by the Library of Congress every year. This year it was held in the Washington Convention Center downtown. It offered a unique collection of poets, photographers, chefs, authors and writers for people to meet and greet. There were also informational sessions and poetry performances. It was a very resourceful even for me as a newbie in the writer’s realm. Politics and Prose, a local DC bookstore and café was hand to sell books from the festival; many of which the author was available to autograph if requested.  I stacked up on my book collection since I’ve started reading again and even got to meet a couple of authors.  Each state was highlighted in its literary contributions through the Pavilions of the States feature. There was a booth set up for each state and contained information literary contributions throughout history from the state and really drew a lot of attention for the kids. There was also a lot of good teaching educational material at hand.

Me with Ishmael Baeh, author of a Long Way Gone and Radiance of Tomorrow.
Me with Ishmael Baeh, author of a Long Way Gone and Radiance of Tomorrow.

If I remember correctly, in years past, the festival carried over into 2 days and it was held outdoors.  This year it was indoors for whatever reason. It made it a lot more difficult to get around as there was a huge section for children’s books, so a lot of parents were running around with their young children. They also decided to hold the extra poetry sessions and performances on the same day instead of doing them the following day. The hours were from 10 am to 10pm, so it was difficult to wait around for so many hours since a lot of the poetry sessions weren’t until the evening. But I walked away content with the information I obtained. I definitely look forward to next year’s festival.

Learn more about the DC Book Festival here.

Does your town or city hold book festivals? Are they enjoyable?

Tell Folks about it!